What a rush! There I was, my picture glowing in the newsstand spotlight, right in between the boob jobs, best foods and the latest Bradjolina family pictures. I felt both elevated and humbled at the same time. TIME magazine had named me -- me!!! -- Person of the Year, and not only that, they spoke directly to me and reminded me how great I really was.
Who are these people? Seriously, who actually sits down after a long day at work and says, I'm not going to watch Lost tonight. I'm going to turn on my computer and make a movie starring my pet iguana? I'm going to mash up 50 Cent's vocals with Queen's instrumentals? I'm going to blog about my state of mind or the state of the nation or the steak-frites at the new bistro down the street? Who has that time and that energy and that passion?They know me so well. They know it hasn't been easy seizing the reins of the global media. And, pros that they are, they graciously saluted a competitor who beat them at their own game, little old me, armed with just my keyboard. They understand!
The answer is, you do. And for seizing the reins of the global media, for founding and framing the new digital democracy, for working for nothing and beating the pros at their own game, TIME's Person of the Year for 2006 is you.
Or so it seemed at first. But disillusionment soon set in. Who was TIME to name me Person of the Year, and did they have to be so goddamn patronizing? Was this their way of trying to sell a few extra ad pages, or trying to coopt the entire blogosphere with their corporate blather? I wasn't sure. But Frank Rich nailed it [Times Select Link] when he wrote in the NYT:
The magazine’s disingenuous rationale for bestowing its yearly honor on its readers was like a big wet kiss from a distant relative who creeps you out.That's why, only somewhat regretfully, I am declining the award and asking TIME to remove my picture from their cover. I feel violated.