Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Only one door left on my demented Santa "chocolated" Advent calendar

Only One Window Left on My Demented Santa Advent Calendar
T found this on sale (understandably) at Trader Joe's and thought it had my name on it. Which it did. It's made for a uniquely goofy holiday experience.

Full View of the Demented Santa "Chocolated" Advent CalendarThe pictures behind the doors are mere tokens. The real treasure behind every door is a tiny little wafer of chocolate, scarcely big enough to taste, especially as it's relatively bland and tasteless. The real treat is the exuberantly silly holiday art.

"24 Chocolated Days Til Christmas" -- I looked to see where Trader Joe's had these made. I figured it was probably China, and that something got lost in the translation. But no, it was another "C" country -- Canada.

Not exactly the magical glitter of the German Advent calendars of my childhood. More of a modern, amped-up version, complete with over-the-top cartoon art, but it's been a cheerful presence on my desk.

1 comment:

Dr Bud "Demerol" Diablo said...

"Cheerful presence," indeed.

A common ruse in the smuggling and delivery of illicit prescription drugs is to lightly glue one tab behind each door of an Advent calendar; the recipient saunters past and picks it up. I don't doubt you're in a merry mood, since these "flavorless wafers" are tablets of black market vicodin. A hit a day produces a mood best described as "cheerful." The unconvincing, psychodelic design of the calendar should have alerted you.

Not to spoil your Holiday, but you might want to close your blinds and celebrate indoors exclusively. Stay low when approaching the Christmas tree. Since you obviously intercepted a drug shipment, there is the risk that the dealer will exact revenge. These people are utterly ruthless, MadGuy, so look sharp.

Do have a Merry Christmas. Indeed, high on vicodin, it would be hard not to--unless the Drug Lord and his minions come a-caroling.